Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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