y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Randomize
