just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
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