he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
