I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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