Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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