i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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