I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
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