OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
She said her name was "party"
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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