turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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