Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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