Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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