Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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