i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
i now understand why vodka
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
