Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Randomize
