guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
