so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize