I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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