sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
