a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
