I smell stomach acid.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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