dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
