If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Randomize
