All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Randomize