I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
