my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I think your dad took our porno
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
