I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
