I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
