I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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