i permit you to call me
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
