I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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