11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
