Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Of course I have a pirate flag
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
