I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
