you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
