I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
