2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
