he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
