that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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