Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
