what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
