I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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