OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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