that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
