I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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