I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
