; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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