Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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