Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm like, not good at living.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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