Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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