I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Randomize
