This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
As shirtless as possible
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Randomize
