I wannas sexs uuuuu
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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