I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
