hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize