Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
