i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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