That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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