a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
porn star boner night. come get it.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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