No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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