she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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