Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
