i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
He felt like a one man threesome
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
